It's Payback Time

Okay, so many have called me out for posting poor little Annie's birdy skull and poking fun. Here is where I repay my debts. Sure, I will make fun of my family, but I also will make fun of myself. At the risk of being politically incorrect, I hereby present the "Waterhead Baby" pictures. My parents were more than willing to hunt these down and scan them in for me.

Sure, my head is freakishly large, but I am damn happy about it!!! I remember pulling this one out late one night when my friend David was over, he could not control his hyena like laughter, I seriously thought he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. My parents sternly emerged from their bedroom to see what the hullabaloo was about, and while they understood where the amusement was coming from, they still told him to shut the hell up. Come to think of it, I think David demanded an autographed copy of this pic, I remember my Mom taking it to her library job to make copies.

And yeah, in this one, I just look kinda "special." My Dad called today to let me know he had found them, but he didn't know which one I wanted--the one where I looked like I had a gigantic head, or the one where my hair was messed up and my tongue was hangin' out my mouth. Just to be safe, he sent them both. And aren't you folks thankful?

So there, Annie, stop your butthurt whining, we're even!

Never Pet a Burning Dog

Or try to pick up a semi feral outdoor kitten, no matter how much you've fed it and petted it and been nice to the stupid thing, and even if your kid double dog dares you to try. Bad things will happen, and then you will end up with two bandaids on your hands when you go to work and then you will look like some silly cutter emo kid.

And we even made them this, the Best Little Cathouse in Michigan, fashioned out of a dee-luxe cardboard box, an old towel, and a desk lamp. We had a cold snap last week with temps below zero, and I was worried that their little feets would freeze off. Now I say they can just hobble around on the stumps, ungrateful turds.

Miss T, you really really owe me that picture of you with your head inside the bird cage now. Gangsta, no? Um, so far, I freaking hate this thing and the only difference it's making in my sleep is it is hella disrupting it. I feel like I'm suffocating half the time, or the humidifier is causing weird condensation problems and the tubey thing starts gurgling, or I get a leak around the mask and a high pitched squeal ensues. So in conclusion, not digging it, in case that wasn't clear.

Science Projekt Revolution (yes Solly, I shamelessly stole your joke)

Annie has a science project idea due tomorrow, and we can't agree on anything. The first two suggestions were written before she went to bed the other night. Alas, Stirling engines require the use of open flame, which is kinda frowned upon at middle school science fairs. And it turns out everyone and their brother is running something on either a potato or a fruit, dang them taking the easy way out before we could get to it! The other two we wrote after she went to bed, because well, that's just how we roll. She thought we were dead serious and was excited about the fart one, but said we would have to use hers since, and she said this like she was insulting me, "yours are really loud Mom, but they don't have much smell. Mine smell like something died inside of me, so we could tell if it was really in there." And no, we still don't know what we're going to do. Stay tuned for Science Projekt Revolution updates.

This is what the need for $4000 of orthodontia looks like

OMG, my baby looks like a bird inside of her head. I mean, seriously, it's like a beak all up in there. She handed it to me when I picked her up from school, and I couldn't restrain myself from saying Holy Crap, you look like a bird inside your head. So if her classmates start calling her "Tweety," I guess she can recount that moment to her therapist on down the line.

Wonder how long it will take anyone to notice?

That I changed it all AGAIN. I am flighty lately. Plus, once Al sees this template, she's gonna want a blog of her own.

Working for da man makes my eyes rain

And makes my blogging more sporadic, guess I'm going with more of a once a week thing. Did a lot of old person type stuff this week, like get my boobs squished, and go for an overnight sleep study. Boobs were fine, sleep was not, and I'm going to have to sleep with one of those things with the mask that makes you look like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Never you fear, I will put a pic up when I get this miracle device. Evidently my condition must not be life threatening, as nobody has called to set up delivery or anything. I decided to burn off a lot of pics that were on the the card, so y'all get to suffer. These would be a few of my favorite things:



A gothic candleholder my friend Deanna gave me for Christmas. I am totally going to put up my Sweeney Todd poster on the wall behind it. I saw that movie for the first time this week and I am now obsessed with it. I remember when I was little I thought it was a musical about some British chick. Yeah, not so much.

My beloved Dyson, complete with a load full of yuck it sucked out of my carpets. Having three cats, I went for the "animal" model. I also like the fact that it's a fectching shade of purple.

My laptop, Terry got it for me last year so I could more easily talk to my "imaginary friends," plus he wanted a shot at the computer every once in awhile. And since I'm like, twelve, I had to put stickers all over it. Yes, I loves me some MCR, and The Used. And there are ones on there from various friends, imaginary and otherwise.

This is a picture of my Great Grandma Tecora Alice Faulkner. I'm not sure why Terry took the pic from an angle where you can't see her face, she's a handsome woman, not afflicted with that disease the Elephant Man had or whatever. There are actually a pair of candleholders that match the frame, but that was a little too much. The plant winding around it originates from about 10 feet away, we like to get those plants that wander all about.

This tuna box has been sitting in my garage for the last eight years, and it was sitting in Terry's Grandma's house umpty leven years before that. I decided it would be a most excellent place to keep my burgeoning comic collection, so I cleaned it up. I love how it says "made in occupied Japan" at the bottom. And I bet that tuna wasn't dolphin safe either.

The corner above my bed, where I illustrate my arrested development again. Assorted MCR and Used paraphenalia, plus an awesome autograped Used poster. Hmm, I should get some Ludo stuff up there too.

I don't know why Terry took this at such a weird ass angle, I think he was trying to be arty or something. This is our "rogue's gallery" as my mom calls it. Many pictures of many family members, from many decades. That oval one on the side is from around 1910. I like to have a sense of the history while I'm listening to my knees click when I heave my butt up the stairs.

Another find from Terry's Grandma's house, this was originally his Grandfather's toolbox. I now have all sorts of stuff secreted in there, I could tell you what but then I would have to kill you. And no, that's not a spaghetti monster on the left of the lid, that's supposed to be a comet. This was before I knew Annie was such an artiste, otherwise I would have made her paint it.

This project is something Terry is really proud of. My parents gave us this pie safe that belonged to um, someone--a great grandma, maybe, sorry relative that I can't remember! It was way old and in disrepair (the furniture, not the relative) and Terry refinished it and antiqued it and put in new shelves and screens, and I really really love it. It is also full of all sorts of things, mostly candles and incense, so when the weather is humid my room smells like a monastery and it makes me want to get my chant on.

And congratulations if you made it to the end of this entry. You now know even more useless things about me.

Changed the name again, there was a dorky pic that went with this

Oh look you lucky folks, I found it.

When the world is gray and bleak
Baby don't you cry
I will give you every bit of love that is in my heart
I will bake it up… into a simple little pie

Baby don't you cry gonna make a pie
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Baby don’t be blue
Gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middleGonna be a pie from the heaven aboveGonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby don’t you cry
Gonna make a pie
Hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Baby heres the sun
Baby heres the sky
Baby I’m the light and I’m your shelter
Baby you are mine
I could freeze the time

Keep you in my kitchen with me forever
Gonna be a pie from the heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love

Baby don’t you cry
Gonna make a pie
Hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Gonna bake a pie from the heaven above
Gonna be filled with butterscotch love

Gonna be a pie from the heaven above
Gonna be filled with banana cream love

Baby don’t you cry
Gonna make a pie
Hold you forever x 2
Hold you forever in the middle of my heart

Alyson and I were watching Waitress last night, I just love that movie, and she bought it for me for Christmas, with her own cash monies. Plus she spent 20 minutes trying to reformat these lyrics for me, but as we all know, Blogger is a pain in the butt so they still look kinda weird.

The quote that inspired the name change:

Ogie: [to Dawn] . If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I would have many pennies.