Christmas magic and stuff

Oh hai!! Yeah, I've kind of fallen behind in my blogging, I'm sure you guys have all been emo crying about that. Okay, maybe not so much. I've just been working a lot lately, plus I have all the other family like people underfoot instead of off doing their various work/school things. They mostly just laze about in my way like a bunch of indolent sloths (or maybe lemurs) who are too lazy to even pick the nits off each other.

On Christmas Eve, we usually let the kids open a present, and this present usually involves sleepwear of some kind. Here's Annie in Christmas jammies. They should have come with a can of Static Guard though, those babies were crackling like a forest fire every time she walked across the room. Maybe we should have fired up the gas fireplace and then just had her walk back and forth to create a nice atmosphere.

The tree all bountified by Santa, after he finished watching It's a Wonderful Life for the umpty thousandth leventh time.

No, Alyson is not flipping us off, that's a giant chocolate covered pretzel rod thing from her stocking. I was kind of butthurt that Santa didn't think to give me one too.

Annie embracing her favorite gift, the hallowed Doctor Who dvds. We had to get the seasons with David Tennant in them first, or she would have thrown a fit.

Alyson with her favorite gifts, a nine dollar hat, an eight dollar sock monkey, and a cat who cost a helluva lot more than that. He had a bow on his head milliseconds before this pic, but he managed to shake it off. He looks less than thrilled, does he not?

We got about 15 or so inches of snow starting the Friday before Christmas. And now, it's all gone, because the temp shot up into the 50's yesterday. It was so foggy from all that snow melting like gangbusters that the visibility was nil. I kept expecting dead pirates to come wandering out of it, or maybe big monsters with sucker tentacles and such.

We think this popcorn kernel totally looks like a frog, and when things like that happen, the kids immediately start hollering get the camera! Put it on the blog! So here you go, a Kermit Kernel.

We got this "Magic Tree Garden" kit at the same store the weird Methuselah plant thing came from. You unfold all the little paper things, put them in the tray just so, and then pour the magic solution in the tray, and wait. And take pictures every fifteen minutes or so, but I am thoughtfully fast forwarding to the end for y'all.

Here it is, about 12 hours or so later, and I gotta say, this little baby lives up to the hype. It's actuality is even more impressive than the picture on the box, and it's cheap fun to boot. I sent out a couple to my friend's respective daughters, I hope they have as much fun with it as we did.

Catch you guys next year! I hope everyone had a nice holiday!

What up, biatch, ok, that's not nice, um we got a cool camera too?

We are crying emo teardrops, here they are. We love you Mayo, whoever you may be, don't get me started, but all you need is a decent camera and a Christmas tree. T-Bone saw your post, laughed his ass off, and did this in like 30 seconds. There are more pics, mind you, but we didn't want to belabor the point. Georgia sistahs, see? We can all do it. And then some. Mayo, if you do ever happen to surf by here, BRING IT. Cuz we already done brought it.

P.S. to the family who have thought I have losted my mind, don't be askairt, it's just weirdo blog people stuffs.

There's a reason I work in the Deli, and not the Bakery

Case in point, this kinda lopsided ugly ass "Tardis" cake. Did y'all know it's kinda hard to draw a Tardis on a cake with icing and stuff? Well, it is. Looks like Doctor Who is encountering some intergalactic turbulence that is making his outline all wonky. Not unlike my head, which is currently full of unpleasant things, and I don't mean thoughts, more like stuff that involves the heavy use of tissues. And I have to work today, but I'm trying to limit my cold medicine intake because I don't want to fall in a slicer. Not that there is going to be anyone there anyway, everyone in the Tri-city area was there last night, buying up everything in preparation for the big snowstorm, which is currently howling outside my window. Hopefully everyone is safe inside munching on their 6 slices of olive loaf cut on medium.

Notice the look of joy at the gift of a bag of cheese popcorn. Doesn't take much. Actually, this was part of a theme present given to her by her Grandparents--it also involved a Hannah Montana nightgown, and a couple of movies. Whenever she stays with her grandparents overnight, they watch movies and she and Grandpa munch up most of a bag of this cheesy goodness.

In contrast to the unrestrained joy of the last picture, this is an example of the gritted teeth smile of why the hell did you get me this I thought there were Doctor Who dvds in that last big package?

But wait! Recovery of happiness when she figured out that she can actually use it to make things. She's starting simple, making bags, because she is a little bag lady waiting to happen, after all. She also got a certificate for 10 bucks worth of material. She started bugging Terry first thing this morning about it. She must expect him to hook up the sled dogs and mush her butt on over there. I haven't even heard a car TRY to go up our street.

Happy Birthday Annie Bananie!

My youngest turns 11 today, hard to believe, and of course I have to do the obligatory picture thing. It took me a looooong time to decide to have a second child, and Annie made it in just under the wire, because I had declared age 30 as my cut-off point for birthing babies. I think I discovered I was pregnant in March, and my birthday is in April. I'm kinda glad she snuck all in there, life wouldn't be the same without her. That's Al splayed out on the floor behind her, with a daggone dirty sock.

She was pretty much this happy all the time, this chair is one of those vibratey bouncy things, ours had a battery in it so you could be lazy and not even jiggle it with your foot. Which is kind of weird, because aren't you really not supposed to be all shaking babies? At any rate, see how chubby her cheeks are? We could get the vibration just right and watch those babies jiggle like jell-0.

This picture reduced her to tears, Terry was looking at it and said Wow, Annie, you have big eyes! Well, she must have thought that was some kind of disease, because she started crying and was all "I have BIG EYES? I have BIG EYES?!?" Also, I think she kinda looks like one of those poor little sad Russian orphans in this one, or that could just be the crazay 70's style shirt, which could possibly be a hand me down from Lisa's daughter.

And here she is this past summer? spring? OK, it's a recent pic, except obviously before she cut her hair off for Locks of Love. Dang, you don't really so much notice them growing up until you take a good look, and poof, there it is. Or is that Whoop? She's all like a young lady and stuff, now, ouch. She's also a wonderful caring person, which is a feat growing up around the likes of me. Guess I will have to give Terry credit for that one. Happy Birthday to mah baby! And now, I must go and make a cake and figure out how to draw a Tardis on it.

Bang Bang Choo-Choo Train

So last night we went to the basketball game at Annie's school. She got to be captain of the cheerleaders for this go round so she thought she was the poo. Terry took a bunch of pictures, but well, they were of jumping around itty girls, so not that many came out. This is the best of the bunch. It's funny because the B team has like forty leven cheerleaders and the A team has like, four. Annie is actually supposed to be on the A team, but this is her last year at this school and she wanted to be on the team with her (younger) best friends, and she had to get all pouty to do it, but it all worked out in the end. Oh, the team lost, but at least they didn't get their butts handed to them like last week. They might have had a sportin' chance if the other team hadn't had some huge gorilla kid (ha, I think that might be him in the background of the pic, note how close he is to being the same height as the ref) who just stood under the basket with his arms up and picked off rebounds and threw them back up into the basket, while our teeny guys skittered

around his ankles like pesky ants at a picnic.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CRIMINAL?

GHOST "Santa Claws" McEVILCAT
WANTED

For advanced Christmas tree desecration, including the breaking of ornaments and the bending of limbs in a most non flattering manner

I have to work 30 hours next week, and I am not happy about that, although I'm sure I will enjoy the jingle jangle of Christmas coinage in my pocket when I get paid for slogging away in the slicing mines. Today we have ham for $1.99 a pound, thank God there's a 4 pound limit. Think of me tonight, peoples. :)

Redrum

Cumulative snowfall over the last two days, not sure how much. Enough for the pansy schoolboard to cancel though. I swear, in the past, one time we got eight inches and the kids still went. Lord knows people were still out and about last night after their deli ham.

Annie with her snow playing implements of destruction. The purple thing is a block mold, she had visions of building a fort, and the other thing? Um, it's actually part of a catch type game, but in this instance it's serving as a diggy thing. You know, so she could poke at the snow first to make sure it wasn't a frozen kitten or a mangled rabbit before she stuffed it in her mold.

The winter counterpoint to the leaf angel of fall, no she hasn't collapsed in the snow while we just stay inside and take pics of her for the blog.

Hell on Earth, just sayin'. Plus, they conveniently left out the ZILLIONS of people milling about in your way, with whiny overtired children. But, if you are looking for an ornament for say, a necrophiliac dentist, they probably have it. No, seriously, I did see one aimed at morticians. But Bronner's is a wholesome place full of sunshine and love, so there probably really isn't a section of ornaments celebrating deviant practices. In other news, it's the second snowday in a row here, hence the title. I keep expecting to see those creepy twins at the top of the stairs. I'm almost looking forward to going to work just so I can get away from the endless bickering!!! Santa is soooooo watching these girls, I hope he can get his hands on enough coal.

HO HO HOw about this month be over already?

I ran out of time today trying to figure out how to link things, I will add more to this wondrous epistle when I get home from work.

Yeah, I got nothing clever

Slow week, or maybe it just feels slow to me. I'm trying to get acclimated to being back in the workforce, but after something like 13 years, even with sporadic exercising and doing mucho housework, my muscles are soft like a marshmallow. I did not know there were so many teeny tiny muscles in my back, go figure. Hopefully I will get used to it though and end up in better shape.

Our Christmas tree this year. Yeah, we're Fakey McFakersons with the tree. I would like a real one, but watching Patti sneeze her fool head off, while perhaps being entertaining, does not seem so much with the Christmas spirit. Oh, looks like Doctor Who has Tardised in to check it out.

I like this little Charlie Brown version, made by Annie last year. We were trying to grow something or the other and it didn't work, so she asked for the little itty clay pot thing, which she turned upside down and turned into a treestand for her pipe cleaners. As usual, she just felt like making a tree, so she grabbed pipe cleaners and beads and well, there ya go. We usually keep a ton of art supplies around for her. I would much rather see her do things like this than sit slack-jawed for hours in front of her Webkinz site or the tv. The package is from her to Ghost, I believe it contains a glove. He kept stealing hers out of the closet to play with, so she found an old pair and she's giving him one. Maybe she's saving the other one for his birthday, I don't know.

Miss T, she loves me, and she knows how ate up I am with the Anglophilia. So she sent me these buttons, which she calls badges. I'm gonna have to hide the flag one from Annie or she's gonna make off with it. Also, it came with an itty card that said HO HO HO on the outside. At first I thought she was insulting me, but then I remembered it's December.

And how would you like that cat sliced, maam?

Be Thankful I put a New Blog up, nah, I'm not really that presumptuous

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Mine was nice, but now I am as full as a bloated tick and not sure I ever want to eat anything ever again. Who am I kidding? I will probably be nomming on party mix before the night is over. This is sorta a combo post--encompassing the triumphant return of the deballed Ghost and a Thanksgiving calvacade of pics.


Annie made this little welcome back package for Ghost. It included a pencil (he has a vast love for playing with pencils, he steals them all the time and then invariably shoves them under the couch and acts all butthurt about it), a baggie of Meow Mix, and a little stuffed whale that she found ( he also likes to go in the basement and rummage in the toy box and liberate old teeny stuffed toys). Annie must think he is a supercat though, she just set in down in front of him and looked at him expectantly. I felt at this point it was necessary to explain to her that in addition to not possessing testicles anymore, the cat never had opposable thumbs, and for sure he wasn't going to be opening the bag, much less a ziploc of Meow Mix.

He still seemed slightly zonked out for the rest of the day. You could say this cat is literally butthurt, but he forgave us pretty fast. Also, that book he's laying on is Annie's favorite one of all time, Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse. It's set in the Dustbowl, go figure, and it's a collection of journal entries from a little girl who had what sounds like a depressing life. Guess Annie is a little Goth or something. Oh wait, she just yelled at me that it ends happy.

This is what we see most every night while we are trying to mind our own business and sit on our butts and watch tv. The little peanut gallery of kittens staring, and they follow us with their eyes, like they are watching a tennis match or something.

A heart shaped potato Terry's sister Patti found, she didn't have the heart (hah! get it! heart?) to peel him up and toss him in the Thanksgiving vat of mashed.

And evidently it was the special themed "internal organ" bag of taters, this kidney one turned up too.

Al and her cousin Amelia with Ike, the kitten eating dog. In addition to kittens, he only likes to eat people food. Which might be bad for him, but as he will eat his own poop before he eats dog chow, can't be toooo terrible.

Cows. Hmm, I actually don't know the names of these cows. My sister-in-law is oh so witty though and her cows always have names like Sir Loin, T-bone, and Ribeye. Hey Patti, if you leave a comment, you can tell us the names of this lot.

Roosters, happy that people don't eat chicken on Thanksgiving. Which is what I said to Patti trying to be all funny, and then she pointed out they were bound for processing in the next couple of days. Sorry boys, at least you got a pardon for today.

Friday Night Follies

We are a weird family, that I do not deny. Some days, we are weirder than others. We had hot dogs for dinner tonight, and being from the South, I don't eat my hotdogs without slaw, because that would be going against whatever God you have. Trust me, if Buddha or whoever was into hotdogs, the word would be to put slaw on that puppy. Okay, to make slaw, you need cabbage, which led me to buy the cutest little cabbage ever today, it was so teeny. I made the mistake of peeling the outer leaves off and turning around and making them talk, because I am weird like that, and Al immediately fell in love with a veggie. One Sharpie session later, we ended up with this. I think the name she and Annie settled on was Earlfred. (One wanted Fred, one wanted Earl, it was how I kept the peace) And I think Al looks creepy and pretty in this pic all at the same time.

Oh Miss T, here is what your begging gets you. Schmexy, no? I will be amazed if I can get to sleep tonight so they can record my snoring. It's a pressure thing, thank goodness, not an actual microphone, so it doesn't matter I had beans with dinnner.

And I typed this whole thing with that stupid thing on my finger, the very nice person at the sleep center told me to put the rig on an hour before I was going to bed so I could get used to it. Um yeah, not so much. The things up my nose aren't bothering me so much, but these tubes over my ears are (shout out to Miss T) getting on my tits.

My Brush With Death, A Tale Recounted by Alyson

God has a sense of humor and I do not care for it what so ever.

As you all probably know, my mother does not like my friend, one Bailey last name shall remain anonymous, at all. Well, recently she (my mother) has decided to let the ever so hated girl in question drive me places. (I think this is mainly due to not wanting to get up and go get me all the time, but whatevs.) Anyway, moving on, shortly after I had seen my darling husband audition for a role in "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" I asked my friend, my mother's enemy, to drive me home so I could be able to make it home ON TIME for dinner, like I said I would. Bai complied.

So there we are driving along, talking about tech for one acts and such when we take a left hand turn at the freaking green light where we have the freaking right away when all of a sudden I look out the window and there is this what looks to me like the biggest white van ever in recorded history coming straight toward us.

Bailey: Oh my God! *is a good girl and does not swerve into oncoming traffic like a dumbass or speed up for us to be hit in the rear causing us to spin out, flip over, and end up upside down in the Tim Horton's" parking lot.*

Me: Oh sweet crackerdoodle! (edited for grandparentental concern I DID NOT say this, also I was thinking about how the white van was totally gonna eat Murphy; Bai's car's name, fitting isn't it?)

Needless to say, I did not get eaten by the scary white van. My arm and knee did get pretty banged up though.

After Bai and I made sure we were not on the verge of death we got out of the car to find out that the driver of the white van was none other than that of a little old lady who can't tell green from red. No offense grandma, but there is a certain age where little old ladies should not be allowed to drive anymore.

After Bai called her mom and told her what happened and the cops arrived I used Bai's cell to call mom the conversation went a little like this:

Mom: Hello.

Me: You're gonna kill me.

Mom: Why?

Me: Bai was in a car accident.

Mom: Were you with her?

Me: Yes.

Mom: Are you hurt?

Me: No.

Mom: I'm gonna kill you.

Anyway, dad picked me up and I was late for dinner, which was what I was trying to avoid all along. Bleh.

-Also, side note, the picture at top is of me holding Ghost as a comfort object in my time of need. It is also shot blurry ON PURPOSE to depict my pain and has absolutely NOTHINg to do with the fact that my mom cannot take a decent picture.-

Side note from Carrie--I do not have that big of a hate on for Bailey, Al exaggerates. But all I can say is--I TOLD YOU SO. And yeah, I can't take very good pics, that's why Terry is designated photog. But he's at a meeting right now, so you get soft focus. I CAN take a decent pic (some of the kitten ones) I just didn't WANT to.

This Free Pot Cost us Thirteen Dollars

So, new template. The other one was kinda hard on my old eyes, and as I know there are even older eyes than mine that peruse this place on occasion, I thought it would be easier for everyone. I wonder how many Google hits I'm gonna get with a title that involves the words "Free Pot."

My new little Thanksgiving cactus thingamajig. See the story goes like this--Terry's mom won a pot playing bingo at dialysis, which I guess is a good way to pass the time if you're gonna be stuck there anyways, although they should have better prizes, like for instance a kidney or something. The pot is the one in the pic below, cute, no? And she was all generous like and gave it to me, and I immediately wanted to shove something in it. I had been wanting one of those cute little cactuses, they had been waving to me with their cheery little petals. But alas, cactuses with pink flowers sorta clash with orangey leaves. But as I am spoiled, I got to get it anyway, and a little pot for it, and I chose the nice fallish mums to go in the free pot. So there, the painfully boring story of how a free pot cost us thirteen dollars. Nothing much has happened since Wednesday, what can I say?

You would think he would at least get the paper off the table, but noooo. We don't live like slobs, well mostly.

Seriously, is this week over yet?

Oh my heck it seems like this week is taking forever to go by. I think it's just the dreary weather making me want to hibernate. Or possibly sleep apnea, which my doctor wants to test me for. So next week I get to sleep with some weird contraption, oh, I can hardly wait. And now, the half week in pictures:

Alyson in her natural habitat. Add a mini fridge and a cot, and I don't think she would bother coming home during play season. This particular play was Peter Pan, lots of singing, many mikes, sound effects, etc. Oh, and I think she may have had to run Tinkerbell's spotlight a couple times too. If only I could get her to move that fast around the house!!

The view from Al's little nest. The play was very good, I think they had a full house for most of the shows. I complained about how much they rehearsed, but it did pay off, those kids put on a flawless show. I know I couldn't have sang while being hoisted about the stage on wires connected to my nether regions. I do admit to having a tiny MCR flashback when Peter launched into that I'll Never Grow Up song.

Miss T, here's that ham omelet roll thingy I had to leave chat the other day to make. Looks scrummy, no? You are welcome to jump the pond any old time and come taste my cooking. That goes for the rest of y'all too, unless you're like psycho killer types, then, no food for you!

This is Annie's extra credit project for um, something. Social Studies, maybe? It's a woven basket thingy, she was going for a Native American vibe. I was pretty impressed, because she didn't have any directions or anything, she just cut up a bunch of paper and started putting that thing together, weaving and rolling, and ok, taping. She actually took this pic, she is getting way into this blog thing. She was supposed to be clearing the table for dinner, and I look over and she is circling the table with her camera like Giselle what's her face who used to go with Leo DiCaprio was in the middle of the Lazy Susan modeling some toxic Victoria's Secret bra. I'm all like, Dude, what are you doing, and she's hell--ooo, I'm taking a pic of my fabulous basket for your blog. So, here ya go.

Something that I won't be having any more pics of though is my beloved Chicken George. The neighbor caught him (yes, HIM, so far, I think I've been 100% wrong on guessing kitten genders) in a trap he had set out for the possum, and took Chicken off to the SPCA. We were going to take the girl cats to my sister-in-law's farm, but now they have a kitten eating dog, plus they take a very dim view of cats who try to eat the chickens, and I'm afraid Killer won't be able to restrain HERself. So, I might be taking them to the SPCA too. Tis the season for kids to be begging for kittens and all, so I'm hoping they will all find nice cozy homes. But I will really miss those little whiskery faces pressed up against the glass at night watching us watch tv.

More Fall stuff, and oh, a pic of the other one

Weird looking leaf Annie picked up the other day at school. They went on a walk for gym class that day. Which made her happy, because she hates gym. We had a parent-teacher conference on Monday, wherein it was divulged that she's not the best at basketball. Her natural inclination (and I say intelligent response) when someone tries to pass the ball to her is to jump out of the way of the hurtling object. This pic reminds me of the book Moosetache.


We have had a really hella nice week, weather wise. The balminess of spring coupled with the leaf crunch and earthy smell of Fall. Wish I could bottle it and save it for the dreary winter doldrums. At any rate, because of said wonderful weather, Annie has been trying to soak up the leafy fun in the backyard. This is her in the process of making a Leaf Angel. It's crunchier and doesn't freeze your bum like the snow variety.

The finished product.

Proof that I still have the other daughter. Believe me, I sure didn't want to use the picture that I was actually in, a heads up on the shitty looking hair would have been just great, Mr. Photographer. This was taken at the National Honor Society induction ceremony, that we, the horrible parents that we are, MADE Al go to, and even made her wear something other than a band tee. The horror!! Someone report us to the proper authorities! After suffering through a whole 30 minutes of us being proud, she bolted back to her stupid soundbooth, she is an artiste, you know. Pbbbllttt to you Al, the Chinese food we ate in your honor was way good, and no, you can't have the leftovers.

Halloweeny, and Fallish stuff

Annie and her friend K, all dressed up for trick or treating. They cracked me up with their theme. I was almost disappointed that it wasn't cold here. Annie was all concerned that she would have to wear a coat over her costume, but I told her if she did, she could just tell everyone that Hell froze over.

And now, they appear to be flashing gang signs.

I totally love the Mr. Potato Head, Halloween version. He has fangs and ears and other accesories, but the Ghost sheet just sends me into paroxyms of laughter. And yeah, that's a Spike mug, as in Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, behind him. I also have a Spike tag on my keychain, and a William the Bloody Awful Poet mug floating around here too. What can I say? I was a little ate up with that in the day. Um, there's still posters in my basement. Yes, I am approximately 13.

My Jack Skellington pumpkin. He was pretty easy, but I thought he turned out pretty cute.

OMG, these dang eye things. I saw them in a magazine and thought How Cute! How Easy! First we had to search through the store for the dang lights, and then all the other crap to make them. We put them up in the window with packing tape, per the instructions, and it actually looked way cool for five minutes, and then they stopped working. (Of course, we took no pic in those five minutes) Terry ripped them down, got out his voltmeter and other complicated crap, and yeah, bad batteries, bad bulbs, these babies were cursed. We used ONE of them on Halloween night, I threw it into the big tub o' candy as it managed to light up for maybe 10 minutes? Am I bitter? Oh yes I am.

This is a big ass pile o' leaves. Evidently she cut a flip the first time she jumped in there, but I missed it. I love Fall soooo much, I just want to squeeze it and feed it soup and stuff.