My Brush With Death, A Tale Recounted by Alyson

God has a sense of humor and I do not care for it what so ever.

As you all probably know, my mother does not like my friend, one Bailey last name shall remain anonymous, at all. Well, recently she (my mother) has decided to let the ever so hated girl in question drive me places. (I think this is mainly due to not wanting to get up and go get me all the time, but whatevs.) Anyway, moving on, shortly after I had seen my darling husband audition for a role in "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" I asked my friend, my mother's enemy, to drive me home so I could be able to make it home ON TIME for dinner, like I said I would. Bai complied.

So there we are driving along, talking about tech for one acts and such when we take a left hand turn at the freaking green light where we have the freaking right away when all of a sudden I look out the window and there is this what looks to me like the biggest white van ever in recorded history coming straight toward us.

Bailey: Oh my God! *is a good girl and does not swerve into oncoming traffic like a dumbass or speed up for us to be hit in the rear causing us to spin out, flip over, and end up upside down in the Tim Horton's" parking lot.*

Me: Oh sweet crackerdoodle! (edited for grandparentental concern I DID NOT say this, also I was thinking about how the white van was totally gonna eat Murphy; Bai's car's name, fitting isn't it?)

Needless to say, I did not get eaten by the scary white van. My arm and knee did get pretty banged up though.

After Bai and I made sure we were not on the verge of death we got out of the car to find out that the driver of the white van was none other than that of a little old lady who can't tell green from red. No offense grandma, but there is a certain age where little old ladies should not be allowed to drive anymore.

After Bai called her mom and told her what happened and the cops arrived I used Bai's cell to call mom the conversation went a little like this:

Mom: Hello.

Me: You're gonna kill me.

Mom: Why?

Me: Bai was in a car accident.

Mom: Were you with her?

Me: Yes.

Mom: Are you hurt?

Me: No.

Mom: I'm gonna kill you.

Anyway, dad picked me up and I was late for dinner, which was what I was trying to avoid all along. Bleh.

-Also, side note, the picture at top is of me holding Ghost as a comfort object in my time of need. It is also shot blurry ON PURPOSE to depict my pain and has absolutely NOTHINg to do with the fact that my mom cannot take a decent picture.-

Side note from Carrie--I do not have that big of a hate on for Bailey, Al exaggerates. But all I can say is--I TOLD YOU SO. And yeah, I can't take very good pics, that's why Terry is designated photog. But he's at a meeting right now, so you get soft focus. I CAN take a decent pic (some of the kitten ones) I just didn't WANT to.